Living with Moderation, Self-Control

This is really something I’ve struggled with in the past couple of years, well rather, my whole life. From…managing my time, self enjoyment, and the such, I really haven’t been the most controlled person. I tend to follow my desires without listening to that small part in me that warns me of the dangers.

It’s contributed to my late-sleeping habits, but also just a rushed lifestyle that just doesn’t satisfy me. In the next few weeks, I’ll really be pushing to have more control in my life, both time-wise and in other ways.

So a list I’ve compiled…

• pointless time on the computer
• lazyness around the house
• excessive eating
• hmm…that more secretive guy thing ;]

God help me!

Doubt

What amazes me if how few people that I know are truly nice people that you can be appreciative of. Maybe that’s just cause besides my church, my school has almost no Christians.

But what I’ve really been thinking about is doubt. I tried a couple of times trying to imagine this world, if it was perfect and sin-free, but every situation I think of doesn’t seem to work. Maybe it’s just cause since we aren’t sin-free at all, we can’t imagine it, but I don’t know.

Otherwise, it’s been random doubts here and there. Stuff like, seriously, why would God have us in such a situation of pain if he “knows all” and could have prevented it.

I’m sure there’s about 10 thousand more things going on in my mind, but I’m a bit too stumped to write it all out.

Chaotic Soul

I thought I was all good, until recently when I don’t know what’s been happening. I’ve been just struggling with life I could say. I think it has to do with my life changing, and that now I’m always thinking about why and purpose.

I guess I’m struggling with my religious faith, but also I’m simply having a hard time focusing in life. Last night, I just … I don’t know, couldn’t handle it? It wasn’t like a mental breakdown, just a defeated state, where all I could really do was lie down and … stop.

Even today, at church I wasn’t myself. I didn’t have that .. drive? Or was it just I couldn’t focus. I’m not clinically depressed, I’m just a bit crazy.

But I think I got some message out of church today. We all go through crap, constantly. We’re always learning more and growing. That’s what I think I’m going through. I’ve been a lot better today after the morning, and I’ve had a much more optimistic view of things so far.

Yep, that’s basically what’s going on in my mind right now. I’m a pretty chaotic thing on the inside, and hopefully things will turn out okay in the end.

Bay Area Sports Blog?

I’m thinking of making a new blog. It will be separate from this (in other words no I’m not deleting this one) and it will be about bay area sports teams!

Probably focusing on the Giants, A’s, Raiders, 49ers, Warriors, and possibly but probably not the Sharks and whatever the mls soccer team is even called. I’d maybe get a couple of friends to help me with it, but still most likely not.

But the blog would be win. I know it.

The Bible — in 50 words

Something interesting I found earlier. Enjoy.

God made
Adam bit
Noah arked
Abraham split
Jacob fooled
Joseph ruled
Bush talked
Moses balked
Pharaoh plauged
People walked
Sea divided
Tablets guided
Promise landed
Saul freaked
David peeked
Prophets warned
Jesus born
God walked
Love talked
Anger crucified
Hope died
Love rose
Spirit flamed
Word spread
God remained

Greater Than Science?

Well, I’ve been constantly trying to figure out reasons…

If this….then how could God be?

If something else….then how could God be?

Perhaps this isn’t the right way to look at things. I was just doing my normal internet business when it hit me, isn’t science how to explain things on earth, what if…

God can’t be fully explained. He isn’t something that can be reasoned; he isn’t something for science. He’s greater than it all. Could this be the answer?

My Path

I believe in God. I believe in reason. I believe in purpose. I believe that we are all here for something greater than ourselves.

When I look around, I’m thinking — things like this, a world with this complexity doesn’t just come to be. Our entity, our soul, it doesn’t just exist for no reason. Everything we are and can be is for something greater.

As for myself, I know I have a purpose. Why would I just be here if I didn’t, for pleasure and pure self-enjoyment? Surely not, for those things are but temporary and ever-fading. There has to be some greater joy that we rise and fall for, some power that we are to adore, praise, and serve.

I live for reason. Everything else in between, the happiness, beauty, love and earthly joys, they are the wondrous creations and gifts that we should be every thanknful for. They are too great to have no creator; too great to be for nothing. So I live for better understanding and serving Him.

My place in life and my path for living comes from what I can do with my given talents. My two main passions, art and writing, are a means for me to express myself, create, and inspire. Being able to use my ability to create is the perfect way for me to be who I am and live the way I believe to be true. It maximizes my thankfulness for this world and its creator, as I enjoy and relish the beauty that can come from my own free, yet guided hand.

But the thing I love more than this is the ability to inspire, as inspiration is the force that empowers people to do amazing things. I want to use my talents and my life as the source of inspiration for others, in all aspects possible and to all people possible.

Getting to the point I am at right now came through such inspiration. Seeing what others could create was just what I needed to find myself and who I am. Now that I have been touched, I’m going to do what I can do to inspire others in their lives’ journeys, wherever they lead. I want everyone to see and genuinely appreciate the beauty of the universe that is in every direction around us, to develop a desire to thank its creator by praising.

This is the aspiration for my life, why I believe I’m here on this earth, and although I continue to learn, my dream is to continue to inspire as well. Everything that I have been so generously given is also everything that I want to pass on, spread to others, and share. It’s what I want to inspire people with.

I am of opinion and though, and so I need a purpose, a drive, an eternal goal. Before recently, I honestly had no idea what I was living for, but now I think I’ve finally found the answers in being a creator and and inspiration for others. It’s going to be a long, tiring adventure down this path, but it’s the path that lies before me, that path I want to follow, the path that is mine.

The beginning, again.

I am now going to officially call this my blog v3.

I have deleted my previous 2 blogs, but I hope this time I finally keep this one forever.

So yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.